I think, as we get older, we lose the feeling that doctors are caring, kind people who genuinely want to take care of us. I know when I was a kid, my pediatrician was totally that type. Dr. Katzman was a sweet guy who really looked after me, and made me feel safe and unafraid, even when I was hurt or sick. But as time went on and I no longer went to a “kid doctor”, I realized that everything changes when we get older. Doctors seem to have less time to spend, the emphasis is on “treat and street” medicine, where time is money. I started to view doctors as people that I’d rather avoid at all costs. Doctors are more inclined to treat the symptom than the patient, and the whole experience becomes even more unpleasant that it otherwise would be. This was especially true of my last doctor, who I don’t think afforded me than 3 solid seconds of eye contact in any single visit, and after waiting sometimes upwards of an hour just to be seen, would have me out the door in under 5 minutes, every time. I don’t go to the doctor often, but when I’m there, I’d like to feel like I’m not inconveniencing anyone.
After a year of going to the same medical practice (only continuing because they’re within a 5 minute walking distance, and are open at odd hours) I finally switched doctors. My walk to the doctor is now closer to 15 minutes. The hours are somewhat less convenient for me. But what I lose in those aspects is more than made up for by the care I’m now receiving.
Dr. Chandra looks a little Ghandi-esque. He greets all of his patients by name, offering a handshake or, more often, a hug. He asks how you are and genuinely means it. He sets down the paperwork, puts a hand on your shoulder and asks you why you’re there, and what he can do to help. I was recently in his office for an unrelated ailment, and mentioned to him that I was hoping to lose some weight, and wanted to know what he would suggest. Unlike other doctors I’ve seen, he didn’t judge or tell me “Yes, you really need to lose weight” and then leave me with no advice or suggestion. He spoke kindly to me, and we discussed my goals and some options. He told me that he knew I might think it would be hard, but he believed in me, and that I could do it. He hugged me and kissed my cheek and told me that I’ve done harder things (quit smoking!) and I could do this. When I left that day, he told me that he was glad to have me as a patient, and he meant it. On a follow up visit, I told him of my success (11.2 pounds lost in 1 month) and his face turned to a broad grin, and I was wrapped in another of his hugs. At the end of my visit, he sent me off with a reassuring pat on my back, and said I was doing a great job.
Dr. Chandra makes me feel safe again at the doctor. It’s a feeling I haven’t experienced in easily 15 years, and it’s amazing how something as simple as eye contact or a hand on the shoulder can transform what could otherwise be a stressful or traumatic experience. I feel like I’ve recaptured something from my childhood that I thought I’d pretty much just have to resign myself to. I thought that now that I’m a grown up, I have to deal with things like doctor visits in a grown-up, no nonsense, all business manner.
It may seem like an insignificant thing to be amazed by, but sometimes it’s so nice to forget that I’m a grown up and just be taken care of. Even if it’s just for a few minutes, every so often when I’m under the weather, it’s nice to feel like a kid again. Now if only he’d start giving out stickers…
